Power Of A Story
I met a friend this summer on the streets of Toronto. We'll call him Alex. He asked my friend if she had a sheet of paper he could use, as he was wanting to draw. My friend dug a notebook out of her backpack and ripped out a piece of lined paper for him. Intrigued, we sat down on the concrete with him under a gazebo in a little park as he began to sketch.
We figured he was homeless because he was hanging out in a spot where we had seen several other homeless men spending their afternoon a couple days prior. We began asking him questions and he openly answered in great detail. He opened up about being homeless, battling a drug addiction, and even his two stints in prison - once for battery and assault and another for murder. He told stories of these events with ease as he continued to draw, glancing up now and then to look us in the eye or look past us as he contemplated. It would have been easy to pass judgements as he showed no remorse for the violent acts he committed against others. However, I also noted the hurt, care, and compassion for others that lie beneath the surface of his rough exterior: betrayal from those he loved, the pain in watching his mother suffer a terrible illness, feeling out of control of the pain that was brought upon his younger sister, responsibility for standing up for those who could not stand for themselves… I zeroed in on these details because they struck something all too familiar with myself.
The door was opened for my friend and I to share of our pain and struggles, how we searched for hope and acceptance in a world that was constantly letting us down and leaving us empty. I shared of the death of my friend and how hard it was to watch her go through many rounds of chemo just to pass away months later. I shared of the abandonment I felt from many that I loved telling me I was not good enough, or leaving all of a sudden without any word or explanation. I shared of the grip that anxiety and depression often have on me. I shared of the confusion of where my life is headed.
I also shared of the hope that I've only found in Christ. I shared of the joy in the Lord that can tear down any feelings of anxiety or depression. I shared of the way I've seen God redeem circumstances that have seemed as though nothing good could come from. I shared of how Jesus repaired my broken heart…many times.
"I don't really buy into that God stuff," he said after talking a little about God. Too much had happened for him to believe a loving God would allow it all to happen if that God existed.
We didn't try to convert him, We didn't try to preach to him, I simply wanted to share with Alex the transformation that has taken place in my life that only came through Jesus. Jesus is an important part of my story, and I can't share my story without talking about him. As Alex steered away from conversation about faith and Jesus we didn't talk about those things after that. Alex still identified the parallels in my story to his. We identified with each other's struggles and developed a new sense of comfort with each other as we felt more understood by the other. It created a connection by simply being able to say, "me too."
That's where stories have power. No one has the same experiences but everyone has been through things that lead to universal feelings and emotions. Depression, anxiety, and other negative mental states can be isolating. However, when we can be open about what we have been through and how our circumstances have effected us on an emotional level, others can see they are not alone in what they have been through or how they are feeling.
In sharing stories it broadened our understanding of Alex. It showed that an upper middle class, suburban, female, young adult has more in common with a homeless, addict, ex-con than has different. I believe he also came to have a better understanding of who I am than what my stereotype might suggest. In a time where there is so much hate between people for not being the same as us, we need to remind ourselves that while we have our differences we aren't as different as we may believe. Instead of being divided by our differences let's be united in our likeness while we value the beauty in diversity.
If we were slower to judge and if we stopped making assumptions so we could get to know the people we encounter I think we would realize we are all more alike than we think. Our stories knock down the walls of stereotypes and what people may assume of us. We need to be open to sharing our stories and open to hearing the stories of others. People won't always respond well and may be judgmental when we do share, but we need to take that risk for the chance that we could really help someone from sharing.
It's not a matter of comparing our pains. Our struggles are personal and there's no use trying to say someone else's struggle is greater, less, or even the same. Instead it's about recognizing that we all struggle but we don't have to struggle alone. We're all going through things and fighting our own battles, so let's be encouraging instead of disapproving.
In some cases your story of how Jesus changed your life will be just what someone needed to encounter him. This happened to me in Colombia, but I do not make it an agenda. God will work through all of our stories either as a step in the process of Him capturing someone's heart or the final step. My story for Alex may have been a step in the process of Jesus pursuing him, in which He will seize in His right time.
So don't shy away from the Alex's you will encounter. Don't judge them, but get to know them if you have the opportunity. They are loved by God just as you and I are. We need to seek to see them as God sees them. This involves a relational encounter where we can get a glimpse at their hearts.
After hours of talking with Alex, he had drawn a striking arrangement of roses. It was a beautiful symbol of the conversation we had in an afternoon of sitting in a park and communing with others. Taking the time to listen to Alex's life and share my own with him was my favorite part of my time in Toronto. Being in relationship like this is what God created us for, and it's how He intends for us to bring Him to the people in our lives. Sometimes we just need to move past our original impressions and get to the heart of who we are.
We figured he was homeless because he was hanging out in a spot where we had seen several other homeless men spending their afternoon a couple days prior. We began asking him questions and he openly answered in great detail. He opened up about being homeless, battling a drug addiction, and even his two stints in prison - once for battery and assault and another for murder. He told stories of these events with ease as he continued to draw, glancing up now and then to look us in the eye or look past us as he contemplated. It would have been easy to pass judgements as he showed no remorse for the violent acts he committed against others. However, I also noted the hurt, care, and compassion for others that lie beneath the surface of his rough exterior: betrayal from those he loved, the pain in watching his mother suffer a terrible illness, feeling out of control of the pain that was brought upon his younger sister, responsibility for standing up for those who could not stand for themselves… I zeroed in on these details because they struck something all too familiar with myself.
The door was opened for my friend and I to share of our pain and struggles, how we searched for hope and acceptance in a world that was constantly letting us down and leaving us empty. I shared of the death of my friend and how hard it was to watch her go through many rounds of chemo just to pass away months later. I shared of the abandonment I felt from many that I loved telling me I was not good enough, or leaving all of a sudden without any word or explanation. I shared of the grip that anxiety and depression often have on me. I shared of the confusion of where my life is headed.
I also shared of the hope that I've only found in Christ. I shared of the joy in the Lord that can tear down any feelings of anxiety or depression. I shared of the way I've seen God redeem circumstances that have seemed as though nothing good could come from. I shared of how Jesus repaired my broken heart…many times.
"I don't really buy into that God stuff," he said after talking a little about God. Too much had happened for him to believe a loving God would allow it all to happen if that God existed.
We didn't try to convert him, We didn't try to preach to him, I simply wanted to share with Alex the transformation that has taken place in my life that only came through Jesus. Jesus is an important part of my story, and I can't share my story without talking about him. As Alex steered away from conversation about faith and Jesus we didn't talk about those things after that. Alex still identified the parallels in my story to his. We identified with each other's struggles and developed a new sense of comfort with each other as we felt more understood by the other. It created a connection by simply being able to say, "me too."
That's where stories have power. No one has the same experiences but everyone has been through things that lead to universal feelings and emotions. Depression, anxiety, and other negative mental states can be isolating. However, when we can be open about what we have been through and how our circumstances have effected us on an emotional level, others can see they are not alone in what they have been through or how they are feeling.
"Our brokenness opened us to a deeper way of sharing our lives and offering each other hope. Just as bread needs to be broken in order to be given, so, too, do our lives."
- Henri Nouwen, Life of the Beloved
In sharing stories it broadened our understanding of Alex. It showed that an upper middle class, suburban, female, young adult has more in common with a homeless, addict, ex-con than has different. I believe he also came to have a better understanding of who I am than what my stereotype might suggest. In a time where there is so much hate between people for not being the same as us, we need to remind ourselves that while we have our differences we aren't as different as we may believe. Instead of being divided by our differences let's be united in our likeness while we value the beauty in diversity.
If we were slower to judge and if we stopped making assumptions so we could get to know the people we encounter I think we would realize we are all more alike than we think. Our stories knock down the walls of stereotypes and what people may assume of us. We need to be open to sharing our stories and open to hearing the stories of others. People won't always respond well and may be judgmental when we do share, but we need to take that risk for the chance that we could really help someone from sharing.
It's not a matter of comparing our pains. Our struggles are personal and there's no use trying to say someone else's struggle is greater, less, or even the same. Instead it's about recognizing that we all struggle but we don't have to struggle alone. We're all going through things and fighting our own battles, so let's be encouraging instead of disapproving.
In some cases your story of how Jesus changed your life will be just what someone needed to encounter him. This happened to me in Colombia, but I do not make it an agenda. God will work through all of our stories either as a step in the process of Him capturing someone's heart or the final step. My story for Alex may have been a step in the process of Jesus pursuing him, in which He will seize in His right time.
So don't shy away from the Alex's you will encounter. Don't judge them, but get to know them if you have the opportunity. They are loved by God just as you and I are. We need to seek to see them as God sees them. This involves a relational encounter where we can get a glimpse at their hearts.
After hours of talking with Alex, he had drawn a striking arrangement of roses. It was a beautiful symbol of the conversation we had in an afternoon of sitting in a park and communing with others. Taking the time to listen to Alex's life and share my own with him was my favorite part of my time in Toronto. Being in relationship like this is what God created us for, and it's how He intends for us to bring Him to the people in our lives. Sometimes we just need to move past our original impressions and get to the heart of who we are.
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